TG #21.5: Rock Scissors Paper

February 1, 2009 – 11:11 pm

WARNING: AUDIO PROBLEMS! On this short episode of Tweak and Geek, we’ll talk about embracing-and-extending the rules of everyone’s favorite fallback for decision-making; Rock-Scissors-Paper! Unfortunately, this recording was damaged — you’ll hear some clicking and artifacts — but with some heroic assistance from our sometimes guest host Mike Swindler, we think you can listen without having your ears bleed. Thanks, Swindler!

The Big Bang Theory is a show about some CalTech physicists, and it spoofs geek intelligence vs real-life common-sense situations. They have a funny bit where they extend the rules of Rock, Scissors, Paper:

That got us thinking… what are the top 10 optional rules for Rock, Scissors, Paper?

10. Lizard, Spock. By the way, Wikipedia assigns this to Sam Kass.
9. No Zerg Rush.
8. Ba-Rock Obama Paper Scissors – Rock beats everything as long as it promises change and has a fresh attitude.
7. Saving Throws! Requires a D20.
6. Aqua Regia – Beats everything – even dissolves the legendary golden scissors. And ham.
5. LARSP – Live Action Rock-Scissors-Paper; you have to act it out. Suggestion: Use cheap scissors and beware papercuts.
4. MMORPS – Multiple Player online Rock Paper Scissors. The more you level up your R/P/S, the better chance you have. A level 80 scissor beats everything and can visit the realm of the Lich King.
3. Dynamite. This is a terrible rule, because (A) it’s unbalanced, and (B) dynamite beats rock, scissors beat dynamite, but paper is somewhat undefined. If paper beats dynamite, then dynamite is a weak choice, and if not, then dynamite is your best choice.
2. Dead Sea Scroll – This paper alternative turns the tide when it suddenly is too much of a shame to cut it with scissors, but too fragile to cover a rock!!
1. Free Parking Jackpot.

Call for entries
T&G Episode 22 is almost upon us. We’ll build this episode entirely out of user-submitted stories, ideas, and questions — so email us, comment here, or call our GrandCentral number with your suggestions!

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  1. 6 Responses to “TG #21.5: Rock Scissors Paper”

  2. The first time I heard rock, scissors, dynamite was in a Stand up Routine by Demetri Martin in 2006.

    There’s not supposed to be any paper, dynamite was just an alternative to paper, because scissors could cut the fuse, and dynamites could blow up rocks.

    So I think the kids just got confused and added paper back in. also explains why it’s undefined.

    I like lizard spock ones the best, but way to complicated.

    By brandon on Feb 2, 2009

  3. Shouldn’t we call me “one-time” guest host? I haven’t agreed to come back on yet (although that last offer you guys sent me almost had enough zeroes at the end). Also, I either sent you the wrong file or we have an encoding problem; I had the clicks and pops almost completely removed.

    By Michael Swindler on Feb 4, 2009

  4. I sent the wrong file; when I restored the clip again and went to save it, I saw my original file in the directory where I originally saved it (NOT the desktop, where I had intended to overwrite the original). I’m sending along the new one now. My apologies to the T&G audience and their now-bleeding ears.

    By Michael Swindler on Feb 4, 2009

  5. Well it’s a good thing I’m behind on my podcasts. I may have timed it just right to get the HD quality podcast.

    By ShadesOfGrey on Feb 5, 2009

  6. argh… my ears…. I did not wait long enough…..

    Warning all other listeners……this podcast is people!!!! It’s PEOPLE!

    By ShadesOfGrey on Feb 5, 2009

  7. Epic fail on my part.

    By Michael Swindler on Feb 8, 2009

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